Comments on: Book Group Grace: How to Talk About Books, Pt.1 http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/2009/02/27/book-group-grace-how-to-talk-about-books-pt1/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:57:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: Neil Hollands http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/2009/02/27/book-group-grace-how-to-talk-about-books-pt1/comment-page-1/#comment-53258 Neil Hollands Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:20:10 +0000 http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/?p=1338#comment-53258 Susan, you bring up a good question, one that deserves an entire posting some time in the future. Willingness to debate varies, and it could just be that you need to shop around for a book group that fits your style. If your group is uncomfortable with negative remarks, try mixing a negative aspect of the book with a more positive aspect in the same comment. It might give other group members more room to maneuver in their conversational comfort zone. Also, you might try to take special care to talk about whether the book and its parts were believable, moving, familiar, visual, vivid, unusual, or had any other quality that is less value-loaded than "good" or "bad". Even if they are unwilling to express anything but positive comments at first, you might still push them to deeper discussion by asking them to identify their favorite character, talking about the conflicts in the novel, or asking if they would have handled a situation in the same way a character did. But at the end of the day, there are some groups that use books as an excuse to get together and socialize. If (literally!) that's not your cup of tea, then you might see if another group is available. Try asking your local library for leads. Susan, you bring up a good question, one that deserves an entire posting some time in the future. Willingness to debate varies, and it could just be that you need to shop around for a book group that fits your style. If your group is uncomfortable with negative remarks, try mixing a negative aspect of the book with a more positive aspect in the same comment. It might give other group members more room to maneuver in their conversational comfort zone. Also, you might try to take special care to talk about whether the book and its parts were believable, moving, familiar, visual, vivid, unusual, or had any other quality that is less value-loaded than “good” or “bad”. Even if they are unwilling to express anything but positive comments at first, you might still push them to deeper discussion by asking them to identify their favorite character, talking about the conflicts in the novel, or asking if they would have handled a situation in the same way a character did.

But at the end of the day, there are some groups that use books as an excuse to get together and socialize. If (literally!) that’s not your cup of tea, then you might see if another group is available. Try asking your local library for leads.

]]> By: andreajean http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/2009/02/27/book-group-grace-how-to-talk-about-books-pt1/comment-page-1/#comment-53073 andreajean Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:48:34 +0000 http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/?p=1338#comment-53073 Susan: It doesn't have to do with being a woman. Many women love to disagree. Try to bring up questions that don't have yes/no or right/wrong answers. Try asking "How did this part make you feel?" Susan: It doesn’t have to do with being a woman. Many women love to disagree. Try to bring up questions that don’t have yes/no or right/wrong answers. Try asking “How did this part make you feel?”

]]> By: Susan Daugherty http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/2009/02/27/book-group-grace-how-to-talk-about-books-pt1/comment-page-1/#comment-53042 Susan Daugherty Thu, 05 Mar 2009 17:48:53 +0000 http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/?p=1338#comment-53042 How do you deal with book groups where most of the participants just want to say, "Didn't you like such-and-such a part," and agree with each other. If I bring up an opposite point of view, they are clearly uncomfortable. I think this could be because my group is 99 percent women and they feel that having a healthy discussion with different points of view is not polite. I am a woman but I disagree. Susan How do you deal with book groups where most of the participants just want to say, “Didn’t you like such-and-such a part,” and agree with each other. If I bring up an opposite point of view, they are clearly uncomfortable. I think this could be because my group is 99 percent women and they feel that having a healthy discussion with different points of view is not polite. I am a woman but I disagree. Susan

]]> By: Book Group Buzz - Discussion of Book Clubs, Reading Lists, and Literary News - Booklist Online » Blog Archive » Book Group Grace: Talking About Books, Part 2 http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/2009/02/27/book-group-grace-how-to-talk-about-books-pt1/comment-page-1/#comment-52849 Book Group Buzz - Discussion of Book Clubs, Reading Lists, and Literary News - Booklist Online » Blog Archive » Book Group Grace: Talking About Books, Part 2 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:29:34 +0000 http://bookgroupbuzz.booklistonline.com/?p=1338#comment-52849 [...] Last week, I made suggestions about how you can turn a little preparation into a better book group experience, but advance preparation will only get you so far. Here are three more simple suggestions to make you better at talking about books once the meeting actually starts. This week, I’ll focus on what not to do–three important DONT’S of book group discussion. [...] [...] Last week, I made suggestions about how you can turn a little preparation into a better book group experience, but advance preparation will only get you so far. Here are three more simple suggestions to make you better at talking about books once the meeting actually starts. This week, I’ll focus on what not to do–three important DONT’S of book group discussion. [...]

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