I Am Not Myself These Days
Posted by: Admin
I’m not that keen on the reviewing part.
Most of the stuff about book clubs I thoroughly enjoy. I’m really into the discussion. I love discovering the way everyone reads a book differently. I don’t mind sending out the monthly emails. I don’t mind sending to publishers for advances. Coming up with promotion copy can be fun. Sure, some months I have to race the clock a bit, reading more than usual, trying to find the best book I can, but that’s not too serious an inconvenience since reading is such a pleasure.
Not so with reviewing. When I’m not reading for personal satisfaction and enjoyment, reading is a whole different process – and considerably less delightful. Scouting out themes and issues, seeking the book’s troublesome knots and puzzles, figuring out the best ways “into” a character, coming up with new techniques to probe the book’s structure and message – well, it has to be done, and done by me, but not with a smile on my face.
It’s the same old stumbling block I have to face every month. No, no, no, I don’t want to do this. I read for joy. Period. I’m in it for the rapture. I read for ideas, and revelations, and meaning. I read to find the best new books to promote. When I have to re-read a book I finished several months ago to refresh it in my memory for discussion, none of those factors is operable. Reviewing a book for a book club meeting is work.
Right now the book I’m ruining with long, wobbly underlining for the next book club meeting is I Am Not Myself These Days by Josh Kilmer-Purcell. It’s a delightful memoir about an good-hearted advertising executive with a serious drinking problem who turns into Aqua the drag queen by night (her titties are see-through plastic cups filled with water, in which live goldfish swim) who falls insanely in love with Jack, a hunky male escort who specializes in punishment, a bad boy with a bit of a crack problem. A love story? You bet. It’s not in the least sordid – it’s brave, and vulnerable, and laugh-out-loud funny. It’s a plunge into the world of sex, drugs, and pretending. It’s as real and American as a Norman Rockwell painting, and held together with genuine heartfelt emotion.
None of which will affect me much as I plow through the book, reviewing it. There’s no surer way to take the fun out of a book than trawling its waters for discussion topics. As a consequence, faced with the chore of reading all day yesterday in a mad dash to get ready for the upcoming meeting, I was tempted by an unexpected phone call. Surprised by a warm invitation from a very sexy friend, I didn’t hesitate for one nanosecond. I caught the next bus to Capitol Hill. Sure, I brought the book along with me. It never left the plastic bag.
Which leaves me with three hundred pages to “review” in the next two days. Sheesh, that’ll be a stunt. Do I feel a little guilty? Yeah, okay, a little. Do I regret it? No way, I had a ball. But it’s time to wipe that smile off my face and start reviewing. We’ll be discussing this book for four Wednesdays. That’s a lot of discussion time. I’ve got some serious reviewing to do.
March 4th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
hi nick…just tell everyone that it’s so brilliant it speaks for itself.
(thank you for choosing it.)
hugs and fishes,
josh and aqua.